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Tag Archives: Funny

DON’T ASK ALICE, ASK JOE!

28 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by johnseekamp in Creative writing, Fiction, Humor, Short Story, Writings

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Dictionaries, Funk and Wagnalls, Funny, Humor, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, Nonesensical, Oxford English, Webster's

Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster wrote a book. And which dictionary did Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster use? Webster’s? The Oxford English? I don’t know. Only Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster knows for sure. And she’s no longer here. No one, as far as I know, ever asked Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster which dictionary she used. Apparently Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster didn’t write down which dictionary she used, either. And furthermore perhaps Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster didn’t want anyone else to know which dictionary she used. Perhaps Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster was self conscience about using a dictionary bearing her last name. The last name being Webster, and all. Or perhaps the Oxford English Dictionary was too “high class” for Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster’s taste. Then again perhaps Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster simply didn’t possess either a Webster’s Dictionary and/or an Oxford English Dictionary. It may be, in fact, that Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster only possessed a Dr. Johnson’s Dictionary. Or even perhaps an up to date and modern Funk and Wagnalls Dictionary. And you thought you knew Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster. I’m sorry. Did I say Alice Jean Jane Chandler Webster? I meant to say Jane Alice Jean Webster Chandler. She wrote a book, too. I think. Anyway, Jane Alice Jean Webster Chandler never used a dictionary. She just made everything up. Just like I’m doing now. What? Who am I? Why I’m John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt’s cousin Joe. That’s right. Just Joe!

by John Patrick Timothy Seekamp  2015  (but you can call me John)

 

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NO KIDDING, NO, KIPLING!

27 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by johnseekamp in Creative writing, Fiction, Haikus, Humor, Poems, Writings

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Funny, Haihu, Humor, Kipling, No kidding, Who are you?

Who are you, kidding?

I’m not kidding. I’m kipling.

I know. Just kipling!

by John Patrick Seekamp  2015

 

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MOUSE, BIRD, ONIONS

27 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by johnseekamp in Creative writing, Fiction, Haikus, Humor, Poems, Writings

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Birds, Cheese, Diners, Eating, Funny, Haiku, Humor, Leaks, Leeks, Mice, Onions, Tweet

Mouse eats and eats. Cheez,

Bird goes into diner. Tweet,

Onionsbring a leek.

by John Patrick Seekamp  2015

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OLD FOLKS, STILL, MOON SHINE

27 Tuesday Oct 2015

Posted by johnseekamp in Creative writing, Fiction, Haikus, Humor, Observations, Poems, Writings

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clumsy, Funny, Haiku, Humor, Moon shine, Not drunk, Old folks, Still

Old folks left, still, late,

By moon shine they stumbled home,

Not drunk, just clumsy.

by John Patrick Seekamp  2015

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BOY, GIRL, and……

25 Sunday Oct 2015

Posted by johnseekamp in Creative writing, Fiction, Haikus, Humor, Observations, Poems, Writings

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Tags

Cards, Comedy, Dating, Drugstores, Funny, Haiku, Humor

Boy asks girl on date,

Boy buys something from drugstore,

Boy gives girl a card.

by John Patrick Seekamp  2015

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